you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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