Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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