Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You're a waste of cheezeits
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
