That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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