you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
