Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
