yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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