He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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