There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
