I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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