I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
