Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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