You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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