you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
