Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
