I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
