I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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