I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It's just like the Real World with babies
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
