it's too hot outside to masturbate.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
