Can Purell be used as lube?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
