I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
