I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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