He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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