life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
soo... how was my night?
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