I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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