i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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