I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
