it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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