Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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