I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
