we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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