did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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