She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
