Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
