once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
