i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
OPIZZABONMYDICK
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
