you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
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I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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