yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
