Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
