Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
