walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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