his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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