Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
