did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize