Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize