Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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