I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
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