Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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