Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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