Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize