he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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