I'm going to jail i love you
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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