youre lurking in front of me
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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