8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You were trust falling into bushes
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
