Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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