so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
