check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
