I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
